‘Lessons’ and ‘The Sense of an Ending’ are the two books that bookended the second module, MA1.2, of the MA for me. Both gave insights on the fragility of memory and expressed it in different ways.
The quote I first picked from ‘Lessons’, reading it on the train on the journey home from Berlin in August, was “Memory has a short half-life”. I took from this the image of memory following a smooth curve, fading sharply at first, then more gradually with time.
In “The Sense of an Ending” the view of Memory was more nuanced. Memories were distorted, repressed, jolted into being by external events, seen differently by various protagonists, lost completely, or just for a time. They were not whole, encapsulated records which gently faded away. (I am not saying that these were the authors’ intentions, but my thoughts after reading these books.) It makes me aware that my half-life two-dimensional, graphical picture of memory versus time lacks many dimensions.
I came across lots of papers concerning this book (The sense of an ending), possibly because it won the Booker prize in 2012. I should read and cite some of them.
Somewhere I read that all autobiographies are suspect, since they are written by one person (ahem, maybe a ghost writer!) after the events who tries to construct a coherent passage of events, probably justifying their actions, that make up a life. (Clarify).
27th January
I read that bit about autobiographies again yesterday .. but where? I can’t remember!
I feel that my composites can be viewed as my reading of Barnes’ version of Memories; not gently fading but (see above, or) experienced differently by different protagonists or by one through various stages in life, where new experiences cause new reflections and new information could cause parts of the memory have new significance . I’ll give a wee example:
Al and Peggy
Context: Al was a student on the MSc Physics at Brock U with me back in the 70s. We met again in 1995 at a Brock rugby reunion at St. Catharines and then again in 2018 for the 40th anniversary of our graduation year. We are ‘Facebook friends’, but very poor at keeping in touch. I had not met Peggy before 2018. She was lovely and we all met and spoke about all sorts of things (including consciousness, which they both were very interested in)..
Al told Peggy about me and our time together as students. His memories and mine overlapped but it was very interesting to hear how he viewed me then, knowing how I viewed him and how I thought of myself at that time (but again I’m autobiographically now thinking of how I thought about myself then!). Al, typically, spoke very generously and admiringly of me and I have always had a high opinion of him.
My (now) view of me (then): I had been working in London for GEC in their research centre. I needed a post-graduate qualification for promotion. I was halfway through a MSc in Quantum Electrodynamics at South Bank, then decided to go to Canada and do one there. (Why? Too long.)
Al’s view of me, as told to Peggy:
